The Value of Patience


also published on the blog denvermensgroup.com.

Over the last few months I have too often heard a man with MS who is still working say “I am afraid to go on disability: I don’t know what I would do with myself.”

Interesting comment since the reasons for going on long term disability are broad and encompass cognitive and physical functioning but above all, safety.  Attempting to use a footstool to reach the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet is generally unwise if not impossible.  Our big desire seems to be to have “value.”

BoredomBoredom is definitely an issue to resolve and cannot be simply shoved aside, but so many of us are less multidimensional than we believe.

Reading a book (hard-copy) night be an unpleasant tactile experience due to heightened sensitivity and even the ability to grasp and hold a book.  Focusing the eyes can get in the way while focusing the mind can be even more frustrating.

From a blog posting in 2009 “Jughead” said “. . . For me it [boredom] usually stems from not being able to do what I want, and though similar to a tantrum, this differs because it is more about disappointment. I can’t come up with what my niche should be, one I’ve been trying to figure it out since childhood.

I can no longer use a hammer or a table saw.  I am unable to think clearly enough to write (not handwriting but typing) anything comprehensive AND if I finally do, it takes hours if not days to complete.

The key is examining what you CAN do and re-routing your expectations.  Have patience.  Taking small steps can also provide immediate gratification. Try it rather than expecting to attain lofty goals only to fail and result in giving up.

The value of patience has become clearer to me now that I have multiple sclerosis and I have learned I must redirect rather than despair over loss.

I cringe at the concept of a need to be GIVEN empowerment since we are all born with the power. We — yes “we” — are the only ones who can use the power. Read Top 5 Words to Delete from Your Vocabulary in Jeff Moore’s blog “everydaypowerblog.com.”

Patience is the companion of wisdom.”  Roman Catholic, Saint Augustine.

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2 thoughts on “The Value of Patience

  1. The quote from “jughead” rings a bell for me. I get frustrated because people will often say “at least you can still do……” but really it’s the other stuff, the things I used to do but can’t, that I want to do.
    A very thought provoking post. (At least I can still think) 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks, mickgorman! . . . the decline in physical abilities is tough but cognitive decline can be harder. I think it is at least partially a “macho”/alpha male thing.

      Like

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