How Many People with MS Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?


Imagine: an adult with multiple sclerosis (MS) wallowing in self-pity and worry.

It is easy to fall prey to this state of mind. It develops so quickly you might not recognize the invasion of shameless insensitivity to the needs and concerns of partners, spouses, children and/or grandchildren, siblings, and parents: Insensitive and self-absorbed but understandable. “HEY!  I’m the one with the health issue!

Who does not believe that everyone in the family would be brainbulbbetter-off adjusting life around the impacts of MS? It sounds reasonable but most often extremely difficult to accomplish.

Physiological differences between men and women can greatly influence the efficacy of a therapy. Women and men often perceive the challenges and workarounds differently.1. Men can be particularly obstinate when it comes to their affliction. Can it be that women do not have this resistance?

A man with multiple sclerosis might be willing to talk about the available programs for financial and physical assistance but avoids talking about the emotional toll.

Is there also a hidden impact influenced by the fact there are two to three times more women with MS than men? [NMSS]

For many men, exposing their emotions is too touchy-feely. Instead, men pursue (make it more important to know) the most appropriate medication(s), physical aid products, treatments and services available to help manage their MS. Anyone spending any time at all around men who have MS would not be surprised to hear a man with MS say he really does not need to be in a support group and “the one time [he] went, it was just a bunch of whining:” Something distasteful to most people but particularly repulsive to men.

Vanquishing multiple sclerosis is a campaign with two fronts:

  1. Advancing MS research.
    Most people with MS want to know about the current FDA approved therapies: What are the positive and negative impacts? We also want to know about the cutting edge therapies and natural/organic based (homeopathic) therapies.
  2. Effectively helping individuals handle the daily struggles of MS.
    We want a cure but in the meantime, we want to cope with MS the best we can.

The mission of MS non-profits is generally focused on research and addressing the challenges of living with MS:

  • “. . . by funding cutting-edge research, driving change through advocacy, facilitating professional education, and providing programs and services that help people with MS and their families move their lives forward.” [NMSS]
  • “. . . to improve the lives of those who live with multiple sclerosis and their families through care, education, support, and research.” [RMMS Center]

Really? I need permission?

The word “empowerment” is mercifully absent from these mission statements but pervasive in the mission statements and TV commercials of some non-profits.

To many, if not most, males, empowerment implies weakness. It is the equivalent of being given “permission.” If power needs to be given, it can be taken away. I do not know many — okay, any — men who believe they need to wait to be given power and most would go into battle with anyone who tries to take away power!

If nothing else, men do not like to show vulnerability or be perceived as weak.

Nonetheless and to the point; male or female, most people with MS impatiently want to know “what can be done for me today? How do I change the light bulb in my ceiling fixture?!

© 2014 Kirk P. Williams


¹ Mark Kastleman (The Difference Between the Male and Female Brain, www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165/)
Also see YouTube “Pam Cook, MS Activist: The Partnership of Marriage” [Click here]

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